Disclosing private details about our child

Hello, we wanted to send this out in advance of receiving our referral as we expect we may not be thinking as clearly then. We may not disclose as much information about our child's background upon receiving this information. This information is that of our child's and we want to honor them by letting him/her decide how it will be told. Below is a statement from our agency, which I think does a good job explaining this.

 

Our agency recommends that we not share any information about our child's background or history. Here’s their reasoning: 'As adoptive parents, you are the custodians of your child’s history. Your child has the right to hear his story from you, when you decide the time is right. It is up to you to protect and guard this information until such a time as your child is able to absorb it, understand it and decide what to do with it. At some point, your child may choose to share details of his birth family, his background and the circumstances surrounding his adoption plan. That information is for him to share. Until that time, we ask that you guard and protect this information.'

As much as we’d love to share everything we know, we’re going with the advice of the experts on this one and respecting his/her privacy by not going into any details about their history."

 

Saying that... I am so anxious and tired of this wait - please pray for a referral soon!!!

May 7 Update

Hello everyone,

 

We start another week of waiting... We are officially in our 'waiting period' so the call could conceibeably come at any moment. I talked to our social worker last week at CHSFS and she feels very confident that we will make it through before the courts close this summer, meaning we will get our referral prior to June 15th. We are cautiously optimisitc that it will come well before then... :)

 

Spring is upon us, meaning mowing lawns, getting the flower beds and gardens ready and thinking about getting the boat and camper ready to go - about a month until we are on the water again! Should be a busy month ahead of us leading into Summer.

 

Well, not much more to report today- we hope to have much more exciting news to come shortly....

 

Best,

David

April 17 Update

Not much new to report, just thought I would drop a quick line to everyone. Hope many of you are enjoying the Spring weather (finally!)

Referral Activities - Top 20 of the list!

Wow – a great week so far for referrals and we are hoping that today will be another day full of referrals.

 

We are now in the Top 20 on the ‘list’ (unofficial list kept by members of message board) and could possibly be Top 15 for an infant (non-siblings) – what does this all mean? Well, we are starting to feel very confident that we will get the call we have been waiting for by the end of May – but in all reality, it could happen at any point now. 

 

Jobs continue to go well for the both of us, I continue to travel at a rate of a week a month – my next trip is to San Francisco and Theresa will be joining me to spend a long weekend taking in the sites in the city by the bay.

 

Hope everyone has a safe Easter.

 

Love ya,

David

April 2nd Update

Not too much new to report. We are still waiting for the next big round of referrals. Not optimistic that we will be in this next round, but are hoping it sets us up for a May referral.

 

We met identified another family in Fargo who just returned from adopting their son from Ethiopia this January. We have communicated via email at this point and hope to get together soon. They have enrolled him into the daycare we are considering and that is how we were able to connect with them. We are very excited about the possibility of our child to have someone to connect with during their early years.

 

We'll be in touch again soon.

 

David

Ethiopia Day

This past weekend Theresa and I went to St. Paul where CHSFS hosted families for their first Ethiopia Day.

 

• The day started with remarks and experiences of an Ethiopian American professor from St. Cloud U who has adopted from Ethiopia (most recently as last week!)
  
• Then info about Ethiopians for Ethiopians, a program where Ethiopian in the Twin Cities are coming together to assist children adopted from Ethiopia to learn the language and culture and most importantly know they are accepted as an Ethiopian.
  
• For lunch we had the opportunity for the first time to try Ethiopian food catered by Queen of Sheba Restaurant. It was good outside of one dish having a few too many random bones in it...
  
• The afternoon included photos and insights into ET culture by a couple of staff members - the country and people are truly beautiful, but it is sad as well to see the plight of so many.
  
• The day ended with a panel of parents who have their kids home. It was a Q&A session where we were able to hear their experiences and learn a bit from them.

One of the best parts of the day though was meeting another couple from Green Bay, WI. It is nice to visit with someone who is in your shoes and realize that we are not alone, that others are going through the same emotions as we are. We look forward to keeping in contact with this couple as progress on this journey.

Have a great week.

David

March 10 Update

Not too much new to update other than that we are still waiting... :) We still think things are on track for a late April, May referral based on the trends the past two months. Lets hope there are no unexpected slow downs.

 

We are attending Ethiopia Day in Minneapolis next Sat, which is hosted by CHSFS. We are excited to learn more about the culture of Ethiopia as well as meet many of the folks that are forum members as we are. It will be great to continue to build out our network.

 

We hope things are well with all of you.

Cheers,

David