Reflection of My Past

Have you seen the TV show Parenthood? It is on Tuesday nights at 9pm on NBC. If you have not watched it, I highly recommend it as it is a show that really captures the realness of families. Yes it is fictional but the family dynamics are very real.

I am actually a few weeks behind so I just watched the show from February 22. In this episode teenagers Amber and Drew's dad who is played by John Corbett comes back into their lives after being absent for many years. Amber is angry. She is angry that her dad feels he can come waltzing into her life and expect them to have a daughter and father relationship. Drew feels his dad has changed and is accepting him back. Drew very much needs a father and is desperately trying to hold on to his dad.

In this episode, the dad brings Drew back to the house and is visiting with Drew's mother played by Lauren Graham and Drew in the kitchen. Amber strolls in and the dad asks if Amber would like to join them on Friday (meaning Drew and him). Amber replies with a fairly harsh no but then the dad continues to ask her. Amber finally blows up at her dad. In her response to him, she tells him that she needed him all her life and that he was never there for her. She cries, she yells, and she is hurt. Amber then turns and walks away. The dad is quiet and says he must leave. After the dad leaves and it is just Drew and his mother in the kitchen, Drew blows up at his mother for allowing Amber to talk to his dad in that matter. Drew is crying, hurt, and sad. 

As I watch this story line unfold, I am overwhelmed with my own emotions and thinking about my own past.  My mother raised myself and my two siblings while my dad moved far away from us and became very distant.  There were many years where I never even spoke to him as he never called, sent a card, or wanted to be apart of my life.  It wasn't until I was a senior in college when he reached out and wanted to form a relationship.  I was maybe 23.  I like Amber was very hurt and didn't see the point of building any kind of relationship.  I needed a father when I was 5 or 7 or 13 but not at 23.  I did happen to form a relationship with him but not the daughter-father kind of one. 

By watching this episode and thinking about my own childhood, it reminds me how important it is to be present in my girls life and to have both parents in their lives.  I will be forever grateful for my mother who worked so hard to raise us and to provide for us on her own.  As I have said before, parenting is hardwork but when your daughter tells you she loves you and gives you a big bear hug, it is all worth it.  I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything in the world.