Before bringing home Maya, I recall telling a co-worker that I don't plan on changing my life after I become a mother. Ha! I remember thinking that I still wanted to be "Theresa" and not just Maya's mother. I remember that I wanted to continue to be able to do the hobbies and activities that I love like exercising, movies, hanging out with friends, and being active.
Wow! I couldn't have been more unrealistic.
I think it is nearly impossible for your life not to change once you have children. Once Maya was home, my priorities changed and rightfully so. My life wasn't about me anymore but about this little person whose life is dependant on me. Instead of doing my own thing like going to the gym after work, I had to ensure Maya was being picked up from daycare. Instead of eating cereal or my favorite popcorn for dinner, I had to ensure Maya had the proper nutrition. Instead of plopping down on the couch to watch some television, I played with Maya, ensure she got a bath, and got her to bed on time. Now realize, I certainly did not do this alone as I am married to a wonderful husband and father. We both had to make sure Maya was well taken care of and that her needs were met each day.
And you know what? I love it, most days. But there are days that I crave to have personal time. Days I wish I could just do whatever I wanted like curling up with a blanket to watch some of my favorite shows or having dinner with friends. Days I wish I could have a date night with my husband without two little girls next to me.
The key is moderation. I now know that I am "me" as well as Maya's and Makenna's mommy. I can be both. It is important for the soul to take time for yourself and do things you love. I still exercise but I do it in the am versus after work. I still watch TV but after the kids are in bed. I even go out with my friends. Dave gets his time too as we work together to ensure we both get time to do things we love and enjoy. It may not be every day or week, but we do try.
Has your life changed after kids? Would you change it? I know I wouldn't as I love being a mother.
It's been a LONG while
4 years ago
3 comments:
I don't know about you, but the transition from 1 to 2 kids was a HUGE one over here. I think when we were placed with Joseph we were so excited to finally be parents, the loss of 'me' time was a welcomed change. One year later, add in a 2nd little body to take care of and yep...I started to miss the 'me' in 'me' time! ;) Not sure I would change it though. But I sure do look forward to the 'me' moments no matter how infrequent they happen!
Going from 1 to 2 was a HUGE transition for us too and I'm still adjusting although things are way better. I treasure every moment of "me" time these days. I love my girls though and I love being with them so it isn't so bad (most of the time).
Your girls are adorable.
And in response to your blog questions, of course life changes with motherhood, and it gets progressively different every year. I found it's easier to maintain a bit of your "pre-baby self" when they are little babies staring at ceiling fans ... sure, no sleep, but really, it's easy ... but then they start walking, climbing, chasing, pulling ... and then they get new ideas and opinions and strong personalities ... and then it's no longer having someone depend on you, but really CHALLENGE you, too. *sigh* I'm exhausted just typing/thinking of it. But we love it because we love being their moms. :)
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