Spoke on Ethiopia

Today Dave and I spoke at an Intercultural Communications class at NDSU.  Our friend who is the professor had asked us to come to her class to speak about Ethiopia.  I am not one to speak in front of a large group of people so thankfully Dave is a natural at public speaking.  

While considering to agree to talk at my friends class, I asked her for a general outline to what she would like us to touch on.  She gave me this outline:

1. Overview of your family (adopting from Ethiopia)
2. Your trips to Ethiopia
3. Overview of the culture of Ethiopia
4. Things you learned about communicating in Ethiopia
5. Things that surprised you about the culture
6. Issues that you have dealt with currently (hair, racism, etc.)

We did adapt it to fit our comfort level, knowledge, and what we felt was important to share about Ethiopia.  Our goal was to focus on the beauty of Ethiopia versus despair and adoption.  We talked about us, our first impressions, history of Ethiopia, facts about Ethiopia, its people, the culture, etc.  It went very well and I think the most of the class enjoyed it.  Some of the students even had questions for us so that we pretty awesome.   

I enjoyed sharing our family culture and Ethiopia with these students.  Funny how a presentation can make you think about things you don't normally think about on a daily basis.  When we sought out adoption we never knew how much we would love another country and how much the country itself made an impact on us.  As we told our class, we are going to do what we can to infuse Ethiopia into our family so our girls can learn about their birth country.  It will then be up to them as they become adults as to continue to incorporate Ethiopia into their lives or not.

Thank you my dear friend for giving us this opportunity (you know who you are!).

Addis Life

Today we got our latest issue of Addis Life.  It doesn't come very often and to be honest I am not sure the number of issues per year so I enjoy it when we do receive it.  Every issue is full of inspiration, something to learn, and many beautiful pictures of people, places, and things.  It really makes me want to jump on the next flight out of town as I miss Ethiopia more than ever. 

If you don't already receive it, I highly recommend subscribing to it.  If nothing else, it makes a great coffee table decoration.

Makenna's Adoption Finalized - YIPPEE!!!

The final piece of Makenna's adoption is officially complete.  Yippee!  For those who do not understand what this means or do not understand adoption in general, it means the state we live in recognizes our adoption. 

Why do we have to do re-finalize and go to court?  Well here are 3 reasons:

1. It erases any procedural flaws or irregularities in the foreign adoption
2. It enables us to get a birth certificate for Makenna from our state
3. It places our Ethiopian born girls on equal footing with any biologically children we have (which we don't) or any children we have adopted in the USA (which we don't have).

To celebrate our family being a foursome, Dave and I took the day off and kept the girls home from daycare.  We had hoped to do something fun in the morning but it quickly vanished.  Amazing how quick a morning can go when you are busy with breakfast, getting dressed, etc.  Dave did make pancakes and eggs for breakfast and we had one of Makenna's favorites meals, Erberts and Gerberts. 

Court was at 1:30 CST and took all of 10 minutes.  The judge was our down the street neighbor and was very sweet to us and to our girls.  Maya and Makenna did the best they could under the circumstance - no nap which they are doing as I type.  Once nap is over, we plan to spend some quality time as a family outside!

On that note - congratulations to us!  YIPPEE!

Red Shirting - How do you weigh in?

I have read a thread on our Ethiopian adoption message board this past week regarding a topic I find very interesting. The topic was around red shirting your child (AKA having your child repeat preschool or kindergarten). On this thread many parents and parents who are teachers weighed in on this topic and brought up some interesting things.

Few things stood out to me:
• Boys tend to be "held back" more so than girls due to not be socially ready
• Appears to be a trend in many areas through the US
• Kids may be academically ready but not socially ready
• Kids may be ready academically and socially but once they hit middle or high school, they may have issues socially
• Parents of summer babies tend to have their child repeat a year of preschool before sending them to kindergarten as many parents on the forum felt is was better to be the oldest in the class versus the youngest
• Those who can afford another year of preschool tend to have their child repeat it and those who can not afford it, send their child to school

I guess there isn't a right or wrong opinion here. To me, I want to do the best for my children and what is best for them. Dave and I moved up Makenna's birthday two weeks and now she meets the cut-off to begin kindergarten at the age of 5. We of course did not move up her birthday for this reason. If we send her to kindergarten right when she turns 5, she will be the youngest in her class. I actually was thrilled to find out we met the cut-off date as it would mean one less year of daycare bills. Call me naive or uninformed but I really didn't think about whether Makenna would be ready socially or if it would be an issue when she is in middle or high school. My concern was academically. I guess I just assumed she would be ready.

How do you weigh in on this topic? I'd love to hear from other parents on this as it seems to be a hot topic out there and one that is creating a trend.

Bucket List

Have you seen the movie "The Bucket List" with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson?  If not you should.  It certainly isn't an Oscar winning movie but it will surely entertain you and make you think of your own bucket list.

I have been thinking of my own list and have come up with a very short list (for now).  Currently I have 5 things on my list. 

1. Visit Ethiopia and live amongst the people for a minimum of 2-3 weeks
2. Locate and give thanks to those who made an impact on my girls' lives
3. Visit Disney World
4. Meet and reunite with my cousins who so happen to live in Orlando :)
5. Vacation is Australia

What is on your bucket list?  Leave me comment and let me know. 

Pressures of Being a Mom to AA Children

On Sunday afternoon we attended an adoption playgroup at a local gymnastics place in town. The girls had a blast. You should have seen Makenna run down the trampoline and crawl into the foam pit. She was smiling from ear to ear! Maya also had fun and really enjoyed the crazy big swing that seated at least 4. I too had fun but was kind of bummed too.

Honestly I felt like maybe an inch high at most. You see, I put a lot of pressure on myself even though I shouldn't. I know I can be way too hard on myself. Sunday I felt horrible about the lack of time and effort that I have been putting forth on Maya's hair. I rarely even "style" it anymore for so many reasons. I know my reasons are all legit but it doesn't make me feel any better. All the other little cutie pies had their hair perfectly done thanks to their mothers. One mom spent 7 hours adding yarn to her daughter's box braids. It was beautiful! I can't even imagine spending that kind of time on my daughter's hair. I failed to mention this same mom has a total of 5 kids and both of her AA girls had beautifully styled hair. I am in awe of her.

Sunday night was bath night at our house. After we gave both girls a bath and washed/conditioned their hair, I decided to style each of the girl's hair. I felt the need to prove to myself that I could still braid and style Maya's hair.  I spent some time looking online for some inspiration and finally decided on doing piggyback braids.  For Makenna, I decided to just do one single cornrow considering she is not a fan and Dave had to help me out and hold her. 

It is hard being a white mother of two Ethiopian daughters.  I want to do the right things when it comes to their hair and skin as it is important to me.  I never want to be that mother who doesn't do anything with their hair and only throws it up into a ponytail because it is convenient and easy.  Like my friend said, it is all priorities. 

Here are some pictures of the girls' hair.  Pretty cute if you ask me :)

Let's Talk Ethiopia!

At church today, the group from our church who recently traveled to Ethiopia including Dave spoke during what is called learning & sharing.  It is a time between the two worship services where a certain topic or event takes place.  It is also a time for everyone to gather together to enjoy some coffee, donuts, and conversation.

Each week is a certain topic and today's topic was a recap of the Ethiopia mission trip.  Dave posted a few blogs about his trip and he has shared several stories along with many pictures with me since he has been home.  Today I got to hear stories from some of the others who traveled with Dave.  Many individuals gave a personal story about how they were able to connect with one of the boys who lived at Kolfe.  It is truly remarkable to hear some of the youth to reference their sponsored son their brother.  Truly amazing and tear jerking.  The group also wore their traditional Ethiopian outfit.  They all did a great job and sparked many questions as well as an interest to learn more.

Dave and I along with a few others started our sponsorship program at our church 2 years ago and were semi successful.  We were successful because we were able to establish a relationship with Children's Hopechest.  We were successful as we gained many sponsors and we were successful because we caused enough stirring to get a group of individuals to leave their comfort zone by traveling to Ethiopia for a week. 

But now we can be truly successful thanks to the energy the new group members bring to the table, the love and desire to make this relationship succeed and be long lasting, and the stronger connection my church, Olivet, has with these amazing young men.  

After the presentation this morning a woman who is very active in our church and who we have gotten to know thanked me for bringing Ethiopia to the church.  She thanked me.  Now I know I did not personally bring Ethiopia to our church as we have others within our church who are either Ethiopian themselves or adopted from Ethiopia but I wanted to cry as she spoke to me.  I needed to hear those words so badly because of how I have been feeling for the past 5 weeks.  Dave traveling with people I didn't know and to have an experience without me to my girls' birth country put me in a place that I never want to visit again.  It tore me to pieces so to be thanked meant more than I could ever express in any blog post.

Today was a good day but I'm glad it is over.  I'm glad the group got to share their story with the church as they needed to.  But now the rest of the group who did not travel can now get back involved with Kolfe.  It is going to be an exciting few months while we gather a plan, roll out the sponsorships again, and get the rest of the church excited about Ethiopia and Kolfe!

FINALLY!

Ever since Dave returned from Ethiopia this past month, I have been anxiously awaiting to see a picture of Dave with Melkamu, our sponsored son from Kolfe.  You have no idea how many times I have asked Dave to see this picture but Dave simply told me he didn't take any pictures as there were individuals in his group who stepped up and took most all the photos from the trip.

Today Dave received an email with this picture.  How amazing is this photo?  I love it so much that it is now my desktop picture on my work computer.  Thank you Julie for taking this amazing photo!  This picture is yet another reason why I wish I could have gone on the trip with Dave.  I would have loved to have seen Melkamu again and to visit with all the young men at Kolfe.

Melkamu is in the red and his best friend Dawit (amazing young man) is in the green.

Happy Forever Home Anniversary Makenna!

Today marks our one year anniversary of being home as a family of 4. Last year today, friends and family gathered at the airport to welcome us home and to meet the newest member of the family. I remember walking off the plane in pure exhaustion as well as being anxious to see Maya. I couldn't wait to give Maya a big hug and lots of kisses. It was an emotional day for me to be home and be surrounded by so many people who love us and supported our adoption process.

Our friend Evan took our first family photo and framed it for us which is still on my shelve in my family room. Although it isn't the best picture considering Dave and I hadn't slept much or showered for almost 30 hours, it is our first family picture which I very much treasure.

I have to admit that I have been struggling with the fact Dave just recently traveled to Ethiopia without me and had an experience without me. I feel incredibly jealous and feel that whenever Dave thinks of Ethiopia, he thinks of his recent trip versus the two trips we shared together. I never thought I would ever feel this way and it has been very hard. Thankfully Dave and I have been able to talk through this and he assures me this last trip has not replaced the other two but it was simply a different trip with different experiences.

Today we plan to spend time together as a family. We plan to celebrate our blessings and enjoy each other.

Happy Forever Home Anniversary Makenna! We love you to pieces.

One Year Ago Today

Sunday will be our 1 year forever anniversary of being a family of 4. Crazy to think Makenna has been home for almost 1 full year. Wow time goes by so fast! This year we had experienced so much and we have so much to be thankful for. Each day that comes and goes, I feel incredibly blessed and very lucky to be mom to my two girls. I know I have many not so great moments and some really bad days but I never forget how blessed I am.

This past year we have learned how to be a family of 4 which isn’t so easy at times. Makenna had to adjust to being with us as we did with her. The attachment piece didn’t happen overnight but instead over a course of months. We got there though and trust me Makenna is very much attached!

Today I took a moment to reflect back to last year on this very day. At this time last year, we spent much of the day visiting the Alert Hospital and Korah. It was truly an amazing experience that wrecked us even further. It is really hard to even put words to this experience as it tore my heart to pieces but at the same time gave me some joy as I got to spend time with such wonderful people. These people have gone through so much and have so little but yet managed to make us feel welcomed. Dave did a beautiful job blogging about our visit there so feel free to read it here.

Dave and the group he traveled with had the pleasure of visiting these amazing people at the Alert Hospital. While looking at pictures, I recognized many faces. They same group of individuals have continued to work hard and I assume will continue as long as they need to in order to provide for their families. Dave and the group provided them with much needed supplies so they can continue to make their crafts and sell them in the gift store. God is good!

Here are just a few pictures from that day. 

Melkam Genna

Melkam Genna!

One of my favorite parts of being a conspicuous family and having Ethiopian children is the fact that our family gets to celebrate many holidays - both USA holidays and Ethiopian holidays.  We absolutely love integrating our children's culture into our family as it is important for all of us.

Yesterday, January 7th, was Genna or Christmas in Ethiopia.  Our friends Ron and Betty hosted a wonderful celebration gathering which consisted of a traditional Ethiopian meal, great company, and some great dancing.  Betty asked all of us to come in our traditional Ethiopian outfits and thanks to Dave, we were able to.  It was really fun to be surrounded by other families with Ethiopian children and to celebrate this religious holiday.  Once we got home Maya told me how much fun she had and that puts a big smile on my face.

Check out our dancing!  Ha!

One More Day

And Dave will finally be home!

You think with Dave being all the way across the globe in Ethiopia, I would have very little contact with him. Well that is sort of the case but thank goodness internet and phone is everywhere. Yesterday I got to talk to Dave on the phone. I felt bad as it was very late for him (9 hours ahead) but I was beyond relieved to hear his voice, hear about his day, and to share with him my days.

While Dave told me about his day, I started to feel like my struggles being a single parent is nothing and that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Dave’s heart is aching right now and he is filled with so many emotions. I know I am ready for him to come home and I know he is ready to see his girls (and me) again but he doesn’t want to leave Ethiopia. Dave got a tremendous opportunity to travel with an amazing group from our church and introduce them to a country we love. From the sounds of it, everyone has fallen in love with Ethiopia and it sounds like some if not all of them want to return soon. Amazing! This group of adults and young adults will be able to come back and share their experiences with the congregation, with their friends, their family, and anyone that will listen. I am personally excited to hear about their trip from others besides Dave and to hear how this trip has changed them (and if it changed them). I am thinking our church is going to be able to do some great things for Ethiopia!

Like I said, I listened to him talk and I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I should not have complained about my week especially to Dave. At least not now when he is wrapping up his trip and managing his emotions. But my week was not a joy ride. It was hard. Lack of sleep, girls bouncing off walls, being stuck inside thanks to a two part winter storm, and no personal time has turned me into a crazy person. Big kudos to all the single parents out there as they have a very hard job!

I have to say thank goodness for an awesome daycare as my girls are being well taken care of, I am amongst adults, and I managed to get a fairly good night's sleep last night. 

Dave will be home soon!  YIPPEE!

Upcoming Trip to Ethiopia

I am full of emotions. Dave's trip to Ethiopia is coming up very soon which means he is leaving us. I am nervous. I am nervous for him and his group.  I am nervous about being home without him and not being able to just pick up the phone to call him.

I am also scared, anxious, jealous, envious, happy, and excited.

Dave gets to take a group of men, women, and youth to Ethiopia and make a difference in lives. How cool is that? Dave gets to visit Kolfe and see our sponsored son again. Dave gets to see Korah again as well as see some of the amazing individuals we have gotten to know from our last trip. Seriously how cool is that? I am so impressed and proud of Dave for bringing this opportunity to our church and getting others to back him. Thankfully Dave has some amazing people to help coordinate this trip as he certainly could not have done it alone.

But you see... I am left at home. I do get to be with my girls which believe me is wonderful. I don't leave my girls very often so leaving them would be extremely hard on me. I need my hugs and kisses each day! I just wish I could be in both places at one time.

I want to go to Kolfe and see the young men. I want to visit the most gracious people ever in Korah. I want to smell the Ethiopian air, eat the amazing food, and share my love of the country with the group from my church. I want to be there too.

I am also nervous to be home alone for so many days. I never sleep well when Dave is gone. And what if something goes wrong like we lose electricity or get a major snow storm??? Too many unknowns for me and it makes me nervous, scared, and anxious.

I know I'll be okay.  I know I'll take good care of the kids and I know that I have friends in town to help me if needed.  I know.  However, I still have my emotions and I am who I am.

Being Thankful

Thanksgiving is only a couple of days away and it is a day to give thanks.  It is a day to remember and to maybe verbalize things you are thankful for such as good health, family, and a feast on the table.  But why do we wait an entire year to be thankful?  Why not be thankful year round? 

As I think about all the things I am thankful for, I can not help but think of the people in Ethiopia.  I can't help but think of my girl's birth families, the boys at Kolfe, the families who call Korah home, and all the street kids.  I can't help but think of the little boy and girls in the orphanages and the beggers in the streets.  These people work hard everyday to survive, literally.

I am thankful.  I am thankful for my family, my friends, the roof over my head, the food in my cupboards and refrigerator.  I am thankful for my job, the car I drive, and the clothes in my closet.  I am thankful for my education, my church home, and the ability to be compassionate towards others. 

I am thankful but not just today or in two days.  I am thankful year round as I know how wonderful and good I have it.  You see unlike many people who don't know where their next meal will come from, I do.  I know I will have 3 meals, I know I will sleep in my bed tonight, I know I will get up and be able to shower in clean water.  I am thankful.

Let's not be thankful for one day only but instead be thankful everyday of the year.  Remember all the good things in our lives.  I do.

Hard to Say Good-Bye

It is true.  My kids are growing and there isn't a thing I can do to stop it.  Sad but true. 

I have slowly been going through all the baby stuff in the house and trying to decide what to do with it all.  We decided to try to sell some of the good stuff on Craig's List in hopes to find it a good home and to get some extra cash in our wallet.  We have sold only a few things so far.  Although I am happy to see my house become less cluttered, I can't help but to be sadden by it.  I personally find it hard saying good-bye to something that both of my girls used due to all the memories.  I feel like I should call in the cluttered expert, you know the one that used to be on that show on TLC?  Well anyway, I know it is only a material object but it was my girl's material object. 

I can say good-bye to most of the baby stuff in my house even with all the memories except for one item.  This particular baby item brings back so many memories for both girls that I can not see it go.  I will probably hold onto this item for a long time. 

Do I need it?  No. Do I used it?  No.

Doesn't matter.

What is it?  My Baby Bjorn.

We bought this before we left for Ethiopia to bring Maya home.  It was our saving grace while in Ethiopia with both Maya and Makenna.  I actually carried both of my babies through the many airports as Dave's back could not support them.  I soathed Makenna in it countless times while home on maternity leave as she needed to be close to me. 

This Baby Bjorn means to much to me and brings back too many wonderful and heart ache moments with both of my precious daughters.  No way can I say good-bye to it.  Not now anyways.

Is there anything you have kept due to sentimental reasons?

Faces of a Vanishing World

I came across this amazing documentary and story yesterday. The story documents photographer, Joey L, and his return to Ethiopia to give back to the subjects of his photography what was rightfully theirs - their photographs. He visited remote villages and captured the unique traits of each of the tribes, the personality of the people.

Below is the trailer for the documentary, but also take time to read his summary of the project here. It captures the essence of Addis Ababa and the beauty of the people combined with the hard realities of life there for so many.

He even talked about exchanging money on the black market, something that we did our first trip back in 2007 as well, although unknowingly until we were in the middle of it.

Enjoy and thank you Joey L. for capturing the essence of these tribes for today, and for future generations.

Another Way to Give Back - Ethiopian Scarves

fashionABLE, a new non-profit from the folks from Mocha (who were behind the I Need Africa More than Africa Needs Mevideo).

Everyone reading my blog knows how much Ethiopia means to me and my family. By promoting fashionABLE and purchasing these one of kind scarves, we can give back to Ethiopia and to the women who are desperately trying to make a living and feed their families. I am in awe of this organization and am excited to have found them. Please watch this video and share with others this amazing organization.

The vision of fashionABLE is to make a new kind of fashion statement as a responsible consumer. Your purchase of a scarf does far more than just create jobs. The fashionABLE mission is to create sustainable business in Africa so that the people are not dependants on charity, but a vital part of a developing economy. It’s a simple business model: Scarves provide jobs; profits provide restoration. When you buy a fashionABLE scarf you are ABLE to provide opportunities, and women in Africa are ABLE to have a new choice.

Day 7 - Maya's Anniversary Week

We're home!

We made it home okay. My mom, sister, and her family met us at the airport. It was so good to be home and to see familiar faces! Maya did extremely well on the flight home. We left Addis about 2 hours late on Friday which landed us in DC 2 hours late. We had to hurry in DC in order to make our connection. Let's just say we barely made it.

Our flight to DC went very well. We had brought Maya a seat which ended up being the best thing we could have done. Maya slept until we reached Rome which was about 8 hours. She then spent the rest of the trip sleeping, eating, playing, and flirting with those around her. The flight attendants were so great. There were at least a half a dozen families that were adopting on our flight and 3 of them are from our agency. We really liked having other families we knew on our flight. At one point I took Maya on a little walk and we went to visit another family. Well...this nice Ethiopian woman (who lives in the USA) stopped me and just took Maya from me. She just thought Maya was the cutest thing ever and had to hold her. It is Ethiopian culture to help care for all babies and to kiss stranger's babies whenever. In the Addis airport another woman came up to Maya and gave her some kisses. It is strange at first but then you realize it is just the culture. Maya loves strangers so it didn't bother her one bit.

On our flight from DC to Chicago, Maya slept. Dave and I watched some tv as we were trying hard not to fall asleep. We wanted to stay up as late as possible to help get us back on American time. When we reached Chicago, we ran into a family that we spent the week with in Addis. It was so good to see them. Their little one and Maya were in the same room at the care center and shared the same nannies. We spent some time with them while we waited for our connection to Fargo. On our Fargo flight Maya played and played. She must have exhausted herself and she just fell right to asleep in my arms at the end of the flight.

Hope you enjoyed reading about our week 3 years ago. It seems like yesterday in so many ways. Happy Forever Anniversary to us an everyone we traveled with. Thank you for the great memories.

3 years already?

Feels like yesterday we were packing and traveling to Ethiopia for our first time to meet our precious daughter Maya. I can not believe she has been home for 3 years! These past 3 years have been so amazing. Not only did we become parents, but we got to be Maya's parents! I truly feel blessed and incredibly lucky.

In honor of Maya's 3rd year forever home anniversary, I thought I would share our blog posts from 3 years ago. Here is what our blog post from day 1 and 2 of our trip which included meeting Maya:

Hello from Ethiopia!

Hello, can you believe we are starting our third day here in Ethiopia. We will try and provide you with enough detail to give you an idea of the adventure we are going through.

Ethiopian Airlines
We flew out on Friday morning, having no issues getting to the airport and checked in. We quickly connected with four other families using the same agency as us and another using a different agency. It was nice to find others who were in the same situation as us. The flight itself went with no issues outside of being confined to very small space for 15 hours. The food was good and we were fairly on schedule.

We arrived in Addis Ababa and claimed our bags and converted some dollars to local currency with no issues. There was a drive waiting for us as well as another couple that had flown in earlier that morning. As we caravanned with our bags to two vans waiting for us, we saw the first images that told us we were not in the U.S. anymore. There must have been a 1/2 dozen men cutting the grass using hand held cutting knives and another group following and picking up the grass...

We piled all of our bags into one van and then we squeezed into the other. We rode back to the guest houses where we had about 10 minutes to drop our bags and then pile back into the van and off to the office. We did some paperwork there, got a ride back to the guest house to eat lunch. After lunch we got a ride to care center to meet our daughter!

Meeting our Daughter!

We were all brought into one room to wait to be called to meet our children. Amazingly Theresa and I were called first to meet Maya Nejbya (pronounced Neji-bia). We were told to follow the social worker and as we walked into the room we were being filmed, which will be included in the DVD they are creating for us.) She is so amazing - she smiles and cuddles and is absolutely the most beautiful baby - still a bit hard to believe that she is our daughter. She is so loved by everyone at the care center, from the nannies to the photographers - they all stop to play and kiss her each time they see her.

The Trip to Hossana

Time is short, we'll post more later but here are a couple of pictures!

Seeing Maya again

We were able to go see Maya again on Sun night - this time we brought the camera and video camera. Some pictures below - isn't she amazing!

She really is the most amazing little girl - she has the flu and was obviously not the same happy girl as she was the day before, but she didn't fuss or cry. We spent over an hour with her on Sunday, just getting her familiar with us.

Some of you may know that they cup feed the infants here at the care center due to the fact that it easier to keep the cup sanitized vs. bottles and nipples. We watched the cup feeding on Saturday but today Theresa had the opportunity to feed Maya. It was very interesting to see Theresa feed her for the first time - I was able to capture it on video!

Adoption

What is adoption? Isn't it bringing a child into your home where you will love, care, and nourish for the rest of his/her life? Well yes but adoption is so much more.

When we first talked about adoption, I wouldn't envision being able to parent and love a child like he/she was "my own". I wouldn't imagine not being pregnant and not giving birth to a child. I wouldn't imagine loving a child so much that it hurts. I wouldn't imagine any of it.

After our second failed IVF treatment, I knew I was done with the shots and I was done holding on to this dream of being pregnant. The roller coaster of infertility treatments was over and I couldn't wait to get off the ride. I no longer wanted to fight with my body and I didn't want to cry anymore. I knew then that I was more than ready to be a mother and that it didn't matter if the child was born to me or not. That is when we got serious about adoption and growing our family.

I remember many discussions with Dave about whether we should adopt internationally or domestically. I remember talking about which country we would adopt from if we chose the international route. I remember looking at all sorts of beautiful children from all over the world. I remember not thinking about the child's history or about the child at all except that he/she needed a loving home. It was all about me and what felt comfortable for us. Sounds awful but that is the reality. We were naive.

Dave had brought up Ethiopia several times. Never did I dismiss it but I wasn't sold right away. I guess I was unsure if we would be able to care for an African American child and give this child the tools he/she needs to survive in this world. We were fortunate to know a couple who had recently adopted two handsome young boys from Ethiopia. This couple sat with us and answered all of our questions. They helped me realize that my child was in Ethiopia and I could raise an African American child. Ethiopia it was and we immediately began the adoption process.

Along came Maya. Two years later, Makenna.

Three years later we are parents to two incredible little girls who were both born in Ethiopia. In three years we have fallen in love with another country, the people, and the culture. Three years later we are no longer naive but informed. We now know that every adoption has a story, every child has his/her story. I grieve almost daily for the loss both of my girls endured. They not only loss their birth parents but their country as well. It is hard for all of us. At the same time we know the opportunities that are now available to our girls including education, but what we want most for our girls is to know Ethiopia, the people, history and the culture. We want them to know their birth story - to know the sacrifices that were made in order for them to be part of our family. Many people tell us how lucky the girls are, but we (Dave and myself) are the lucky ones. We get to parent these two beautiful Ethiopian beauties.

Adoption is hard and we would do it all over again although this time with our eyes wide open.

We love you Maya. We love you Makenna. We love your birth families, we love your birth country, and we love you.